THE DICTIONARY FOR MY SON

Getting up without feeling of tireness, having no idea what time it was, I got out of the net, switching on. Nothing was seen. There was a back out again. I had to find in the dark the only oil lamp used in almost 5 evenings a weeks. Having lighted the lamp, I realized it just was 3 o'clock.

On the multifuntional table, there was a series of pots of gold fish, a small bottle of medicine I used to take, a vase of flowers, being used in such some special days in the year, my children's books, my assignment of my in-service-training course and some of left when I was at school for a period of 3 month - time a year. I wondered asking myself, " What should I do?". While many things rushes into my mind, I heard my eldest son laughing. He must have got a nice dream since he got the best pupil award on English subject in town. There came an immediate discussion coming from a lot of parents whose children were my son's classmates. Some congratulated me on the award. Other turned to criticize their beloved sons having nearly lowest scores. Wondering how to find a tutor of English for them, my supervisor asked me for reason praising my such intelligent son especially after having been told that my son was good at any subjects. However, some spoke critically of my son, "It doesn't matter tobe good at such English. Mine is excellent at Russian."

In my neighborhood, there were a lot of fishermen who got medium-sized fishing boats. Such working class family like mine was rare here. Almost boys of my neighbors were working for their family fishing businesses while girls at home mended fishing nets or became workers in frying-fish industry. Some lucky children tobe educated just were able to reach the level of secondary high school then had to work sooner or later. It was difficult to find in the whole area any boy having an average grade.

Actually, my brother- in -law, THANH, sympathetically and enthusiastically tutored Long and one of his classmate but that lasted to soon due to his late coming home form work. Besides, He often reminded my kids of going to college to gain the mass universal knowledge.

Being orphans early in life, my two sons used to be with the difficulties with their working mother who was working for the Provincial Trade Uninon and some part-time jobs to support a family of 4. There used to be a period of time in which people produced wine from rice illegally. I became a ferment producer supplying ferment to exchange cooked-fermented rice to raise pig. I also worked as an organizer of a mutual fund which helped me earn up to twice as much as the salary I had. I also had to mend fishing net during summer vacation when my sons could give me their hands. This year, due to my studying at in-service training college and doing my office work later I had no time to work at all. So the financial burden became heavier. Some wondered why I had studied in such a difficult time when they couldn't bend their mind to their mental or intellectual lives and what kept me going on. What I was doing came from the love for my sons, for their future including mine.

Sometimes, What I did seemed to be either unbievable or explainable. I just wanted to be a good example for my sons. I wanted to show people my abilities to raise and educate my children. Prices went up so did my two sons. Their clothes no longer fit them neither their shoes. There came a solution into my mind. Clothes which used to Long- the eldest- now would be Khanh's his brother. So how about Long's? I had my sister repair my clothes. Long gladly recieved it as someone's new clothes.

" Long is submissive, obedient and compliant to be the nicest boy in my class." declared one of his teachers. "He's slow, a bit calm, taciturn but confident, thoughtful and endurable." the teacher added believing his consideration firmly. "There is some truth to the notion that learning becomes easier as you have more difficulties in life on which to stimulate you". I asserted my firm belief so not only my son but I did something unbelievable. Generally speaking, Long was like his passed way father as many considered. I hoped he could be an electrician like his father so I tried to keep some electrical books and an electrical measuring device. I uesd to learn French so I could not help him anything with his learning English. After some evenings being consulted, he became so studious that he would come to his teacher's home to take lessons and to ask for help without being shy.

Long was selected to be in an English specialized class. and he was expected to get a great grade to dedicate to the memory of his father, me and his teacher of English.

This evening as I came home from work, Long greeted me with great exciment and happiness," Mom, I've got the first... grade." He was so moved that he sounded like a stammerer with tear coming out from his innocent eyes. Upon hearing that, I was really in a stir and a jumble, half saving for my husband having a good time in the past years, the other half for asking myself what to do to help him study better." Well done, my son, I'll give you an award." I rubbed his head promising him. Long kept the handle bars of my bike as soon as I left it as if he wanted to take it easy himself that he had ever done before. Following him in, I found myself tearful seeing the back of his shirt mended with a different piece of cloth and the shirt was too small for him and so were his shorts resembling an under wear.

Propping the like agaisnt the wooden wall, I picked up the working bag and took our dinner boxes out. We started having dinner this way 2 months ago to save. Our office cantin serverd the workers' dinner with the help of a small restaurant cooperating. Of course it must have been cheaper than my Mom's cooking and it made her free from the work.

While having dinner, seeing my red eyes, Long tended to say something to me but he was too embarrassed to do so. " Ah, Mom's home." Khanh's calling helped cut the embarrassment. He proudly announced that his brother good result would be broadcast on the radio. He reasoned," Next year, I will enroll an English class andI will be the same."" the best English learning boy in town." added he funnily. They both made me happy. My Mom could no longer keep quiet, "the best fishing boy in town, in fact." The whole family was happy smiling as it had never been before. Long told me how he did his test and how happy his teacher felt. Sometimes, Khanh interupted adding," How wonderful! Second to none- Great..." I had never seen my Mom so happy that day. I felt myself full up as if the exciment had made me full. In my mind, there came a gift for him, a pleasant educational one.

" Mom, My teacher requires me to get a good dictionary to look the new words up. Will you get me one, a small one?"asked Long softly. "Can I use it too, Mom." added Khanh noisily.

I nodded my head promising not very firmly. I said, " You both study well. I think you deserve something better like a cassette player to listen to English." Khanh felt excited to cry out," Yeah, for grand ma to listen to her music too."

While Khanh was clapping his hands happily, Long didn't seem to be pleased. Looking at him, I happened to remember once I had promised him a dictionary. I startlingly realized that a good VietNamese- English dictionary would take hafl of my salary which I had not been able to get.